1 March 2011

Everyone injured for Arsenal

Fair enough, they managed to suck me into thinking we might actually win something this season after I'd vowed never to believe such a thing until it's actually happened and the trophy is in the cabinet.

The football Gods have had their pound of flesh now though and it's business as usual. No need to keep the players fit just to con me into thinking we might still win something. They know I'm not falling for that one again...not this season anyway.

So of course Robin Van Persie and Theo Walcott are now out for undisclosed periods, probably ages. As well as the already crocked Cesc Fabregas. I should imagine Russian of the week, impossible to injury Andrey Arshavin will shortly be accused of espionage and poisoned by the KGB.

Nicklas Bendtner meanwhile will remain 100% fit for ever. We'll lose just enough players now as is standard for the month of March to drop sufficient points in the league to gift the title to the Satanic ejaculation in Manchester and receive a hammering in Barcelona that will twist the guts like rotten Oysters.

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