The actual budget

I received a copy of George Osborne's budget today. The real one, not the nonsense meaningless one he's reading out in the House of Commons as we speak. Apparently, by 2015 it'll be cheaper for a family living in a two bedroom semi to heat their home by actually setting fire to money than by using central heating.

Apparently even though the nuclear facilities in Japan actually survived an Earth quake five times more powerful than it was designed to withstand, followed by a friggin' tsunami and the complete destruction of the entire infrastructure of that region, the eco-fanatics will have their way and nuclear energy will continue to be seen as one disaster away from the end of the world. Further nuclear power plants will not now be commissioned to fill the cavernous gap in our energy shortfalls and the prices charged by the French will be so prohibitive we might as well huddle round a ball of burning tenners.

Yes, despite the fact the most people in the Japanese earthquake died being crushed under roads and buildings and more people will die from the insanitary conditions of water and living conditions from non-nuclear pollutants (no one is suggesting we shouldn't build any of these things) nuclear power will continue to be seen through the lens of Chernobyl.

The nuclear facilities in Fukushima seem to have been the safest places to be in fact, yet all this means nothing to the sandal wearing beard sporting carrot juice drinkers who refuse to even look at the science let alone understand it.

As a consequence of all this it is mathematically impossible for our deficit to be reduced let alone the national debt as we pump billions and cabillions and cazillions into Chris Huhne's economically disastrous renewable energy concepts including inefficient wind farms and the absurd portable fart capture bags originally developed by NASA to be issued to everyone with green veg in their diet.

We're doomed.