25 March 2011

Cherchez la femme... dans la nuit

There's a chap in the Canada's who spends a lot of his time putting unopened decks of cards into glass milk bottles. Bottles that have not been tampered with in any way. No one in the galaxy knows how he does it. His name is Jame D. Grant. He's very clever. You can buy them for $100 so I thought I'd have one and then when people came over to see me to check I'd eaten all of my soup we'd have something to talk about.

In other mysterious news, I lost 70% of battery power from my iPhone last night! Who's had that away I wonder? The battery monkey has come a visitin'. I had 83% of battery left when I finished composing some crucial tweets about Smallville and when I wakes up this morning I's only got 13%! I bet Brainiac took it. Or Lana to power all the computrons she's got set up to spy on Lex.

I've really gone off Lana. She's mental now. She wears black leather and speaks in silly whispery tones which I think are supposed to be sinister and sultry but in her Canadian accent just sounds daft. Some accents are just not seductive. It's why women in Cornwall aren't allowed to speak.

Well anyway, I don't know what it's all meant to be but she's fooling no one and it's all very tiresome. I mean I'd of course never hit a woman, but it came with some relief when Clark had to knock her about a bit to get her to drop this absurd La femme Nikita routine.

Finally it's come as a blessing in disguise that I've had to pull out of the APAT event in Coventry. I will now be able to enjoy Mexico's slaughtering of Paraguay. I assume this would have been shown in the Casino, but you don't want to take the chance do you?

Viva Mexico Cabrones!!

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