11 May 2011


The thing is about the US of States and their holier than thou admonitions over the Chinesers human rights records, once they opened that Guantanamo torture theme park they surrendered the moral ground on any matters of human rights to anyone and....no wait I don't care about this, I want to talk about Jelly Babies.

I've long since felt that Gummy Bears were an opiate. There's some violently addictive ingredient in those things and anyone who's ever sat a gummy bear in some water and watched it expand will appreciate the dangers of having an entire packet sat in the stomach.

As a consequence of this I weaned myself off them and switched to Jelly Babies. But even with Jelly Babies I am having some problems. They're babies. And I'm eating them. Who's idea was this? What is wrong with Bertie Bassett? He wants us to eat toddlers.

It says "natural" on the bag. What's natural about eating children? It's effecting my sleep. I was only able to get five hours sleep this afternoon because of a disturbing dream I can't even relay to you for fear of what you must think of me. To cut a long story short I'm thinking of switching to fudge.

There, I said it.

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