2 May 2011

Suspicious minds

I like Barrack Obama. I would say my politics such as they are are rather more to the right of his, but I think he's a good man and an intelligent man. He is of course still a politician however and like boys, they lie.

I prefer to think that Barrack's lies are less sinister than George Bush's. Like for example George Bush was eight years in trying to divvy up the galaxy between him and his friends and all his lies were to that end. I like to think that Obama's untruths have been more benevolent, to protect us from us. if you will.

If for example he laid bare before the citizens of the US of States how completely wrong their country is and how China owns them and how they should have never waged that War of Independence with us those 250 years ago given how it was about escaping an intolerant Monarchy only to be overwhelmed by GOP religious nutters.

Anyway, I digress. Obama's explanation last night about how they came to finally kill Obe Wan Kenobi was as Elvis Presley might have put it, a bit suspicious. He essentially fed the conspiracy theorists like someone serving up slabs of raw meat to a pride of famished lions.

If we're to take Obama at his word, the US Special Forces - and by Special remember we mean having learning difficulties and problems concentrating - actually succeeded in a mission. This in itself is incredulous stuff. See their interventions in Somali for evidence of this. They were also Navy Seals. Water soldiers! Sent into the mountains of Pakistan. That would never work.

"BIN LA-DEN, tall guy, hairy, hates freedom, have you seen him?
A Special Forces soldier collecting in-tel yesterday.

But not only this, they apparently were able to find, kill and bury Osama Bin Kenobi all within an eleven hour time frame. During which, his body had to be identified, photographed, photo-shopped, prodded, powdered, his DNA extracted, and then his body dumped at sea. A 1,000 mile journey. At sea? Why?

No chance. I'm happy to accept he is dead, but that he was killed yesterday in Abbottobad's plushest district which apparently was used in olden day times by British officers as a place to sort of relax a bit - i.e. perform filthy sexual manoeuvers on the locals - and only a stone's throw away from Pakistan's version of west Point.


I can't accept this. Whenever the real proof of his death is revealed will it allow us to determine when he died? Or just that he has died? The latter I suspect. I should imagine they killed him many many moons ago and Barrack Obama has waited until now and the conclusion of this bizarre and ridiculous birther nonsense to deliver one in the eye to the GOP.

Rolling out the body of Obe Wan Bin Laden Kenobi sure does put the whole 'is the President really from Hawaii' accusations into some perspective. No wonder he was in such good form the other night. A huge 'you do your thing Republics I'll just get on with saving the world' just in time for the re-election process to begin. Phew!

The irony of course, apart from the fact that America dishes out billions in funding to the Pakistani military who apparently have been harbouring their number one enemy, is the worst thing you can with these crazy extremist dudes is martyr them. Bin Laden was irrelevant while he was living in a five bedroom mansion and spending his days by the pool watching Dr Phil.

Not the stoic guerilla fighter and nemesis of the West, more a sort of Islamic Hugh Hefner, all silk robes and gold curly slippers. In preserving his Presidency with this foolhardy ruse he has also preserved Bin Laden's faux-spiritual cum noble emanation. Now he'll be more influential than ever.

Just like Elvis.

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