3 February 2011

Sally Bercow trying too hard say Psychologists

Every man in Great Britain rolled his eyes and tutted this evening as Sally Bercow once again confused playful flirting with being a slag. The 6ft 8, 52 year old media whore failed to raise so much as an eye brow let alone a cock with her bed sheet photo-shoot in Thursday's Evening Standard.

Black cab driver Daniel Walker told me, "Sorry Sal, you've got three kids love, underneath that bed sheet we all know your twat is sagging like a Wizard's sleeve."

Husband and House of Commons speaker John Bercow (4ft 10) is said to be furious no one really fancies his wife no matter how accessible she makes herself to men in the area.

A source inside the Commons emailed into me revealing Bercow is utterly dumbfounded that most blokes would actually rather have a crack at Betty Boothroyd who is 81 instead of his wife! Psychologists say she is simply trying too hard.

Professor of Sex Leroy DelRodney from London University College explained, "It's all about the chase with the hos. That's the thing that gets a n***er hot. We want what we can't have. It's no fun when a bitch falls over with her legs in the air, you know what I'm saying."

Former Commons speaker Betty Boothroyd was unavailable for comment tonight, which just made the country want her more.

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