15 January 2011

Judgement day

The tempestuous weather today may just be the beginning of the end of the world. There are ominous signs in the betting markets. I'm afraid one can't ignore the fact that West Ham are good value at 7.0 to beat Arsenal this evening and Totterington must finally fling the Manchester United monkey from their backs tomorrow at nearly 3.0 by securing all three points at the 24th time of asking.

Arsenal of course exist purely to keep me in a perpetual state of neuroses. By beating Chelsea for example, they teased enthusiasm from me like someone milking venom from a Viper. Left exposed and vulnerable they then crushed my spirits by only just managing a single corner in two games against Championship opponents.

West Ham by all accounts are about to be set free from the death warmed up countenance of Avram Grant and it's quite likely they'll play this evening with a freedom akin to the Munchkins' liberation following the death of the Wicked Witch of the East.

Tott**ington of Sperz are surely playing well enough to finally beat Manchester United. How Yoonited keep winning despite having such an average squad is almost as baffling as the longevity of Emile Heskey's international career.

It's a legitimate phenomena and in truth this game has a draw written all over it, however there's some movement in my bowels and it's not the Jalapeno popcorn I ate yesterday, it's a stirring that's telling me Totterington will have their day.

"..and he opened the markets for the Premier League and behold, there was a great earthquake. And the sun became as black as sack cloth, and the moon became as blood and the seas boiled and the skies fell, but Arsenal were a lay and Tott**ham were value." -- Judgement day


Tinca Tinca said...

Feels like the end of the world, had my first ever Subway today, never ever again. I blame you for the total non taste event. Don't believe the hype kids.

Rich said...

What did you have? You can't just abandon Subway after one visit when there's millions of combinations. That's crazy talk.