26 January 2011

Everyone sacked following comments made by everyone towards everyone

The blog has received reports this morning the British economy is on the brink of collapse following the sacking of everyone!! Just under 30 million people lost their jobs this morning after disparaging comments made by everyone towards everyone appeared on YouTube.

Offices, building sites, hospitals and shops remain closed as we speak as sexist, racist, ageist, islamophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, anti-semetic, chauvinistic, imperialistic and xenophobic Britain collapsed under the weight of it's own prejudice. Details of dismissals are arriving every minute.

At a housing project in Tackley, Oxfordshire the entire workforce were dismissed for "overt sexism" after they subjected a single mother walking home from dropping her kids off at school to suggestive and threatening whistles and calling her "love" in a manner unbecoming a manual labourer.

Several bricklayers were over heard agreeing that "they would" and were fired on the spot by project manager Keith Talbot 56, who then sacked himself for admitting that he probably would too, but not before dismissing carpenter Martin Keynes 23, for describing the arse of the mother in question as "like trying to fit three eggs into two shells." Page 3 of a copy of the Sun was also found to be sodden with drool.

The housing project in Tackley where everyone
was given their marching orders this morning

Hospital wards lie empty too as nursing staff up and down the country were summarily dismissed for "institutional patronising and condescending attitudes to sick and old mental people."

At Tameside Hospital, Human resources manager Debra Prollock 48, told me, "we had to let our nursing staff go. The infirm and mentally incapacitated want to be treated equally not medically.

"They don't need to be referred to as 'pet' or 'darling' and by medicating them and cleaning up their piss and sick we deny them the dignity that all elderly people deserve. They didn't fight Hitler so we could deny them the right to wipe their own fannies and indeed, cocks.

The blog understands the only business currently still open is a Post Office in Croydon. Joan Hospice 74, was initially sacked by her manager David Sandals 28, for inciting racial hatred when she whispered to him she felt a bit anxious when a black youth entered the premises carrying a hand gun.

However, Mr Sandals was then shot seventeen times in the face by the youth before he could file Mrs Hospice's dismissal papers so she has remained at her post, but only after tackling the gunman, securing the assailant's arms with her bra and sitting on him until police arrived.

*update -- I'm now hearing Mrs Hospice was arrested by police and has been jailed forever for indecent exposure, calling him a toerag and contravening the gunman's human rights. Those same policeman have also been dismissed by the Metropolitan Police for violating her human rights. All other police men and woman have also been fired for similar violations.

Mrs Hospice yesterday

"Society will now collapse within hours, babies will rot in the gutter, but it's right and proper that no single man, woman or transgendered individual is more fucked than any other." said Harriet Harman as she dashed off to catch a flight to somewhere far away from everything she stands for.

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