22 April 2011

Wass good about it?

So anyway yes,..according to the Gospels today 1978 years ago Jesus was crucified. There really is no need to go into why this clearly never happened (there weren't even any Carverys around in the olden days). Anyone who has read the gospels, which were written some four centuries after the event ought to be able to see this for himself given the inconsistencies.

This was clearly some myth, like most scripture, a ripped off version of some Pagan bollocks told to keep children terrified into being good or something. The simple arithmetic of the issue is that there was of course no need for God to sacrifice his own son to save us, because of course he can just sort out our evilness with some magic dust because he is both omnipotent and omniscient even though of course, this is impossible.

God was accepting people into heaven years before Christ was born so what changed? God manufactures a reason to nail his own son to a plank of 12 b 2 and for this we worship him and we eat chocolate eggs and we watch Ben-Hur. Gay.

And now even the proles are beginning to understand this is nonsense. The Christians made a big mistake when they translated the Bible into a plain English. The language of the King James Bible was putting people off as it was considered convoluted and unintelligible to the average member of the underclasses, but it was language that kept the utter shash behind this faith a secret. The language was the curtain that hid the wizard if will.

While people were reading the King James version, they were so focused on trying to understand each sentence, the thous and the doths and the yees and the yays, that their ickle brains couldn't also follow what was actually happening to a degree where the contradictions and nonsense in each silly chapter became clearly evident.

Now the international version has made it easier to read, but also easier to pick apart the bullshit like buffalo chicken wings. The absurdness of it all laid bare in plain English. By attempting to attract more bumpkins to their faith by offering their scripture in plain English, they've achieved the exact opposite because people can now read their scripture.

There still remains that hard-core minority though. People who will still insist that Jeebus did indeed die for our sins, which in fact weren't ours at all...and this volume of Chinese whispers is in fact worth killing and dieing for.

Well I'm sorry human race..but no. While this minority of loony-toons exists I'm afraid I can't take humanity seriously. If you're someone who doesn't take humanity seriously either and have chosen Christianity as a means of wasting your life as one nonsense calling is just as good as another, then I'm cool with that, but if you're one of the crazies who has Christianity on a pedestal and insists every other means of killing time until you die is wicked I'm afraid I find you quite abhorrent and while you exist I can never take us as a species seriously.

While there still exists many many deluded cwetins who genuinely believe there's a dude in the clouds who knows everything and controls everything and had his own son killed to save us, then I'm afraid Clark Kent will always be my God.

Clark is a nice boy. Yes he makes mistakes, and yes it has taken him nearly 5 full seasons just to get a snog off Lois, and yes his people have already destroyed one planet, but I still find his story rather more believable and inspiring than Jesus Christ's.

Having said all this, I reserve the right to enjoy yummy eggs. I've got a flake one and a Creme egg one this year. When you were a kid did you ever want a Creme Egg Easter egg that had the fondant in the middle too?

How cool would that be? Quickly sickly though. But still cool. I might look on the internets and see if you get them.

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