22 April 2011

Nonsense of the week

So I'm just about to enjoy a nice bath followed by a shower to get myself clean from my bath when this song comes on Absolute Radio 90s. Boyzone..Love me for a reason. This is possibly the most ridiculous, sickening, misguided, over-emotional three or four minutes of verbal guff currently available on all of the You-Toobs.

Don't listen to it kids. Or if you listen to it, don't hear it. It's wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. It doesn't even make sense. Love me for a reason, let that reason be love. What? I love apples cause apples I love. Fuck off.

Anyway, I digress..Women in my experience and according to all available data do not like sensitive men. It's a myth. It's like how you always put your best books on display when you have company and hide Jeremy Clarkson's autobiography in the boot of your car. You're trying to project a better image of yourself aren't you.

Women do not want men with intelligence, a good sense of humour or sensitivity. NO! They do not want the kind of "men" who feature heavily in TV shows like Dawson's Creek..where crying in public is the norm and constantly wanting to talk about feelings instead of football is acceptable. Guys who can never get a day's work done as they're forever busy trying to find themselves.

Women want men who are to all intents and purposes just apes only better looking. Preferably rich apes who'll treat them like shit. It's no coincidence that since this video was made half of Boyzone have admitted to being gay, and the other half didn't even have to. One even died of being gay didn't he? Literally died of cock! Urghh. See, what do they know about what women want eh? eh?

Men do this too of course. I've heard men claim they like women for who they are not what they look like. When in fact of course we all just want a woman with juicy jugs who is prepared to lick the inside of our arses and be a good sport and go home afterwards.

Women are the worst at this though. They lie. Don't listen to them kids. Don't be nice. Don't ever ever ever attempt to talk about your relationship or where it might be going. These are conversations to nowhere. They don't mean anything. If you even approach these subjects your girlfriend will fuck your more manly best friend before you've even finished the first sentence.

Also, don't revise for your exams and drink bleach it tastes just like pop.

Who says I have no paternal instincts. Father figure of the year trophy please. Now please, thank you I'm best.

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