18 April 2011

Road to nowhere

If you wanted to gauge how crap this country is now, just how utterly incapable it is of organising even the simplist piss up in the smallest brewery, one only has to recall how the Japanese re-built a couple miles stretch of a major highway in just six days after it was destroyed in a 9.0 scale earthquake.

In England however, a simple fire blazing away in close proximity to the M1 has shut a huge stretch of the road down since Saturday and shows no sign of opening. A man this morning did his fucking ironing on the southbound carriageway.

The Health and Safety executive weighed down by the burden of the European Union's lunacy is incapable of allowing anyone to do anything quickly in case something happens somewhere.

Children can't play conkers without sporting safety goggles, gauntlets and metal toe capped boots if the stampsies rule is in effect.

The consequences are of course that the strata of bureaucracy that make up the Highways Agency mean that a 48 page document has to be consulted when workers on site want to take a tea break. The document covers such crucial and dangerous tasks as stirrings tea, how to dunk biscuits safely and the health risks of a high sugar intake. There's a whole chapter specifically for diabetics.

While it's true the Japanese may indeed be from another planet and my granddad will never forgive them for their treatment in the second world war of our POWs and of course they do have that weird and frankly sickening obsession with schoolgirl raping lizard cartoon porn, but if I ever have the opportunity to leave this country before it collapses under the weight of it's own shitness, it's Japan I'll be heading for.

A school girl being raped by an alien lizard yesterday.
It's OK though, cause it's just a cartoon say Japan.

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