29 April 2011

Proud to be British? Bit late for that.

With the eyes of the world on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge,
a waiting footman takes a crafty peek down Pippa Middleton's top

It's an intriguing business this Royal Wedding. If the polls before today were to be believed almost no one was going to be watching it. Obviously this was bollocks as no one wanted to admit they'd be glued to it.

I myself had no intention of watching it, only because I'm almost never awake at that time of the day. However, due to an occurrence that occurred, I was awake and I clicked between it and the Aussie Rules Football on ESPN.

An interesting juxtaposition I think you'll agree. What's intrigued me more than how many people in this country have watched this thing, is how many people in other countries have tuned in. Republics..countries that are openly opposed to Monarchies.

The US of States for example. They've gone mad over it. They love the Royals. Love them they do. What on Earth was the War of Independence about if 245 years later you're all going to get up at 5am and watch a Royal wedding?

If you listen to Aussies like Cazillionaire Rupert Murdoch who shits gold, he'll tell you the Monarchy is the pinnacle of the class system. But he would say that. I'd probably say that too if my ancestors were transported to the other side of the globe for being flashers and underwear thieves.

Ben Elton famously moved to Australia as a protest against the Monarchy. Has anyone noticed he'd left? He felt they were parasites despite only costing the tax payer 36p a year. Old crones living in state sponsored housing.

One has to give the man credit for keeping a straight face while delivery such jaw dropping hypocrisy. A socialist, Mr Elton would rather see the state controlling everything, yet he's opposed to the Monarchy living in State sponsored accommodation?

A Republic isn't free from social strata anyway. You show me a Republic that doesn't have a class system in some shape or form. It doesn't exist except in episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but even then it inevitably turns out to be an horrific dystopia where proles are kept underground and forced to wear tatty leather and unnecessary shoulder pads.

No..I've no problems with The Monarchy. Weddings I have problems with, but The Monarchy no. I'm cool with them. What has irked me today however is this nonsense about how everyone is so proud of being British. This in fact angers me.

These people are so proud of being British that they haven't noticed how being British is almost a criminal offense now because they have stood by and watched successive Governments over the past couple of decades sign away it's very Sovereignty, it's Britishness if you will - the centuries of history that the pomp and ceremony of today symbolises. ' Oh I don't really care about politics'..is the usual excuse.

D'uh fucking hell. People this ignorant should be tied to one of those enormous ceremonial horses and dragged through the streets of London until they have eroded such they can simply be mopped up with a sponge. If you were really proud of being British you'd take the time to understand how hard and bloody a struggle it has been over the past ten centuries to acquire these values and appreciate they need to be defended.

But fine then, if you only care about weddings fair enough, but of course because you don't care about politics and because you're too busy putting bunting up, that may very well be the last Royal Wedding you get to weep over as Great Britain is soon to be absorbed entirely into the European State.

Can people not understand this or see it? That means no more Royal Family people. No more street parties and those silly ornate mugs.

Instead it means men and lesbians from Germany telling you how to fill your dustbin and forcing you to measure your apples using the metric system.

There is nothing about Britain to be proud of because it barely exists. Everything that this country ever had to be proud of has been systematically dismantled, put in boxes and confiscated.

Handed over to Jerry in exchange for a silly blue flag and a new set of rules written in twenty languages except English so we don't understand them.

The Germans, who we defeated with no help from anyone else not 70 years ago, precisely to preserve our way of life and our values and our heritage and our friggin' Royal weddings. We have fought centuries of wars over our identity. What was the point of those wars? The millions of deaths? It wasn't so we could all be told what to do by someone called van Rumpey.

I give up on trying to work the world out when the people living in a country who fought a war to get away from our Monarchy will go mental over them and get up at 5am to watch live when they marry, and yet British people who claim not to care about them will waste a whole day off work to watch one of them getting married despite never having met him in person and drink in the Britishness of the occasion only to completely ignore or fail to appreciate that that very Britishness they so enjoyed today has to be defended.

British values have so eroded you can't leave a push bike unattended unless it's chained up because if it's just left on the front lawn some thieving European will have it away. Well same applies to Sovereignty people.

I've said my piece I'll bid you good night.

Congratulations Prince William, get stuck in mate,
before a German throws his towel over her.

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