WSOP Europe Event #3 £1,075 NLH

A picture says a thousand words, but in this case it's just one word. Fuck.

It was the perfect spot. Poker Christmas if you will. A short stack of about 1,200 shoves from early/mid position, a dude a couple seats down executes an isolating shove for 5,500 and I am in the Big-Blind simply waiting to announce call at which time I shall launch my brace of rockets at my two hapless combatants and destroy them both, ah ah ahahahahahahahahaha.

I scoop the 13,000 pot to add to the 3,000 I have back and I'm in such a comfortable position with the blinds only at 100/200 I couldn't be any more comfortable if I was at home in my slippers with a hot cup of drinking chocolate while my testicles were gently massaged with a warm soapy flannel by the WSOP girls.

Only I don't scoop the pot. There's a seven on the river you see, so all I scoop up are my hopes and dreams and pop them in a bag for another year. Poker is a cruel mistress.

It was all going so well. I had no one scary at my table, at least no one I recognised apart from a Mercan chap sat two to my left who looked familiar but I couldn't recall his name. He was constantly discussing with newly bracleted Phil Laak, ridiculously sized pots he'd won and lost on t'internet, so I knew he was someone, but his name eluded me.

He had a superb quiff like a wave of hair rolling over his bobble hat of sorts. I wondered between pots whether his hat had to be in place in order to blow dry the quiff into shape or whether the hat was neatly pulled into place afterward. I chose not to ask.

I've since identified him as Justin Smith, recent winner of the WPT London high roller event for a not insignificant £140,000 pay day and 2nd in the WPT at the Bellagio in July for $550,000...so he can play a bit and not short of a few quid. Strange then I felt, that he should bring his own sandwiches. I know they're expensive in London casinos, but that's kind of tight isn't it? Although they did look nice. If he can do that then I'm taking a flask next time.

After a nice lunch: the Where's Willy quiffed Justin Smith yesterday

Some other notables arrived later in the shape of Richard Ashby - why is he called "Chufty"? Isn't that slang for a c**t? - He seemed like such a nice chap to me, but a chufty plug is a tampon no? Again, I chose not to ask. Jeff Kimber also showed up later and I since nicknamed him Chufty.

A chufty plug yesterday

Nothing else of note occurred. I played ABC poker for the most part and saw no reason not to. I attempted one bluff which was met with a straight flush, so I decided not to do that anymore. In truth, I had no need to. The proper pokering would have come much later. As it was, what came later was just my bus back to Oxford.