28 December 2010

Hoorah, but we're doomed

We left-handed people have been subjected to a disgraceful but ignored discrimination for years, but Subway have taken up our cause with the introduction of left-handed subs. And about time too. No longer will I have to fumble awkwardly with ill shaped right handed sammiches. I've never felt so alive!!!

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Nothing to hide: Mr Raffone yesterday

However in far more sinister news, we're doomed. Theresa May as we know, is a crazed feminist who is far too busy buying shoes to consider the consequences of her ill thought out discriminatory and invasive horse shit disguised as policy, but if we thought her "all-women" short-lists were the pinnacle of her suffragette inspired insidious lunacy we were very much underestimating her.

She has managed some how to persuade 1,000 families in Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire to trial 1984 style home telescreens that will give each family's local police stations a 24 hour a day window into their homes. According to Mzzz May this will make domestic violence a thing of the past as well as child abuse and promote a happier more loving environment in the home.

Michael Raffone 44, from Winslow in Buckinghamshire is one of the poor deluded saps who thinks this is a cracking idea. "I signed my family up for the scheme because I think it is a natural progression from the CCTV surveillance in the streets. We don't notice that now do we and it obviously deters criminals, so why wouldn't you want one in the home? The excuse that it's an invasion of privacy is pathetic. Do you want our children and women safe or do you want to be able to have a shower without being seen? Unless you have something more sinister than your modesty to protect you should not have a problem with this."

If the trial is successful Theresa May would like to see the scheme extended nationally on a voluntary basis and ultimately brought into law by 2014. I for one see no flaws in this plan. I see nothing wrong at all in assuming every man's guilt as either a wife beater or nonce until they can prove otherwise and can't see how anyone considering where this will all end might then immediately hack out their own jugular with some scissors.

As if this wasn't utterly terrifying enough, Theresa May also announced that a further 1,000 "random" UK citizens will be receiving a visit from a Government official (how sinister?) in January who will present the poor bastard with a catalog of their web-searches, emails, tweets and text messages and "discuss" with them anything at all they have deemed to be either illegal, inappropriate, racist or pertaining to acts of terrorism.

This rather intriguing intrusion into our lives (legal under the Terrorism act 2006), was quietly announced the day Prince William announced his engagement to the Middleton woman and so received no media attention. Well, splendid. That's me not answering the door until February then.

Full article here: www.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1342076/1984-telescreen-a-reality.html

Nowhere to hide: Mr Raffone tomorrow

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