29 December 2010

A confession

..and the man said, "careful sweetheart, that's not a banana you're peeling."

Oh hello people, didn't see you there. So I have a confession to make. My post from yesterday about the telescreens was a superb joke. It will of course happen one day, but this day is not yet upon us either on a voluntary or compulsory basis.

Sadly, also of course there are no such things as left-handed Subway Sammiches. Although I continue to email in about their introduction. I mean how hard can they be to make really!?

This blogging nonsense was in celebration of día de los santos inocentes. The Spanish world's April Fools Day if you will. Curious it should fall on December 28th if you ask me. You'd think all that stuff about Jesus and God a few days previous was amusing enough fantasy for one month.

I was very mischievous yesterday however. I drove around with a baby seat attached to the roof of my car in order to provoke a reaction of horror and disbelief from passers by. The funniest was a young woman who ran after my car screaming and waving her arms as if to try and gain my attention. She then slipped and smashed her face on the curb losing several teeth and quite a lot of blood. I almost wet myself laughing. You should have been there.

Then I pushed a pensioner into a puddle, but it was deeper than I thought and it took him nearly ten minutes to get out of it. He saw the funny side though, we were both in tears. And when the ambulance arrived to take him to the hospital I stuffed a few bananas in their exhaust pipe. They were still there about four hours later! I heard they got the old goat to casualty just in time. Haha classic. Can't wait till next year.

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