20 December 2010

Biscuits and stuff

So last night I was able to return home from the Abingdon pokering establishment's Christmas freeze-out cum re-buy, with a tin a of biscuits. You see everyone who plays gets a wee something just for playing. When you bust out you pick a raffle ticket out of a hat and receive your prize.

Three years in a row now my prize has been a tin of biscuits. I was hoping for the twin pack of After Eight mints, but I remain satisfied. What are the chances though!? Roughly fifty prizes and three times I pick out the biscuits. I've seen it all now.

* * *

Weather now and on my home last night my car temperature display read -14˚c. I'm quite sure this never used to happen when I was a child. If I recall correctly from my childhood -6˚c was
enough to have us pulling on our thermal under garments and shaking our heads at the crazyness of it all.

What I've noticed with my keen eye and extensive research into human nature though, is that there is definitely some sort of masochistic desire amongst us to see these temperatures plummet to new and intolerable depths. This is especially so amongst the news media.

The only other figures they report with such rabid enthusiasm are the death tolls of natural disasters. Female reporters display this eagerness with a palpable arousal.

I think I recall Kate Silverton reporting on the Haiti earth quake that up to 100,000 people may have died and having to pause to adjust her knickers as they were clinging to her sopping wet genitals.

I'm not sure exactly what causes this morbid fascination with large scale disasters, but I for one am bored of it. It's only been a few weeks since it started snowing and already I can understand why the Scandinavians are such odd people.

If this continues for much longer there's a significant chance of us succumbing to the elements it's ways we cannot imagine. The deeper we sink into this winter, the further east our nations character will reflect. First the Scandies, then the Poles and eastern Europeans. Then the RUSSIANS! When that happens, we'll wish we were Haitians.

We're doooomed.

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