13 August 2010


After I had a cup of tea and nice biscuit earlier today, I continued my naturalisation process from gringo to Mexican and discovered that Mexicans don't call gringos gringos. According to the superb and very funny book by Gustavo Arellano "¡Ask a Mexican!", "Only gringos call gringos gringos. Mexicans call gringos gabachos."

I also found out that Mexicans never use the word cojones! I think they use "Huevos" - oo-eh-vos (eggs). This pleased me as I've never liked the word cojones. Now I can watch cookery programmes in Spanish and giggle when they make omelettes.

Later on I hope to discover how best to call someone a nanny shagging chain smoker for when Man Utd come to the Emirates and how to ask for directions to the railways station for when I'm in Mexico and need directions to the railway station.

I took a break then as I remembered I wanted to look at the fixture list for the first week of the Premier League. I'm back now and my suspicions have been confirmed. Tott**ham will lose on Saturday.

Have you seen their new kit? It is fucking appalling. I'm sure there must be a whole load of Ford Capri 2.8 Injections in Essex now without seat covers. The Spud players must surely be too self conscious wearing that to focus on the task at hand. It's ironic really, they finally have a fairly decent team yet they still look like twats.

I fancy Manchester City to win this game quite comfortably as their players all have so much money they probably don't care about anything. Tott**ham without a defense and sporting a bad 80's kit are never 2.48 to beat the richest club in the galaxy surely? I'll be taking the 3.15 on Citeh, it'll be like picking gold up off the street.

Elsewhere, Martin O'Neill may have left, but I still feel Aston Villa can be shit. West Ham are my dark horses for the season and I have invested some monies on them on the handicaps, 38+ 15/1. I would imagine Pablo Barrera will score three or four goals in this game so the 4.30 on the 'ammers to take all three points here is borderline thievery, but I'll take it.

Finally, I've had a bulls-eye on there being a red card in the Blackburn v Everton game @ 5.10. I just have a feeling deep within my bones that Tim Cahill won't see out the 90 minutes.

It's been a few weeks since his last red card so he must be due? Actually, his disciplinary record is quite good for such an unhinged violent descendant of a cockney granny-basher or alcoholic underwear thief, so it may not be him who gets his marching orders.

Some one will though. I've seen it.


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