17 August 2010

Praying for Young Boys

Standard disclaimer do not read the bit about
the weather if you're my Auntie or God



God, I don't know if you read my new blog, but if you do, please please please make Young Boys Bern knock Tott**ham out of the Champions League.

I promise I will no longer nag you before the Pigeons game about doing that thing to Paulie Two Thumbs with the two outers for a laugh and I'll stop subscribing to that organisation who insist you don't exist - I mean if people want to donate to the National Secular Society and help eliminate religious privilege than so be it, but I for one will a be born again Christian.

I'll even give you my telescope, even though I'll have to buy one to give to you as I don't currently own one and even though you already know what all the stars look like cause you made them, so you'd only want a telescope to peek at women...I'm OK with that, just please interfere with this game. I need this.


Amen.

* * *
And now the weather..


This weather girl on Sky telly, Lucy Whatsherface, I think it's fairly clear she's a mucky little cockhandler. It's all to do with what she wears I think.

It's just formal enough for a newsroom setting, yet slutty enough to invoke images of dirty secretaries being exploited appallingly by a ruthless boss. And she winks too after her forecasts.

Well I've got a forecast for you. Later this afternoon Lucy can be found on her living room rug, legs akimbo with gash filled with Winalot™ and Max the Basset hound having a jolly good lick.

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