29 September 2011


To be fair I haven't felt tip top recently and I think my recent groinal dramas coupled with a lack of foods, sleep and personal hygiene has lead to the inevitable chest infection. I knew this morning in fact that my condition needed attention when I drew back my bedroom curtains to find a number of opportunistic vultures waiting on my drive way and window sill for what they must have assumed was an easy meal.

They had obviously read about me in What Carcass? magazine*. I need to remember to close my bedroom windows at night. So anyway yes, I will head to the big house again on Tuesday although of course I will not be staying any longer that it takes to have a nice cup of tea and my IV inserted.

I pity anyone who has any length of time as an NHS in-patient in their futures. My advice if you're one of those unfortunate bastards is to pretend you're in prison or on a British Navy ship in the 18th century. Make an adventure of it and keep a healthy stash of rum handy as they'll be very little ho ho ho.

Good luck everyone.

*Joke stolen from Red Dwarf

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