19 October 2011

Pop tarts, Obama and the Champions League

Americans don't know how lucky they are being able to buy pop tarts in the super market. I have to have mine imported. I loves them.

Yes America may very well be on the very brink of collapse. Yes it's true that almost all of us failed to acknowledge that beneath all of the cool, Barack Obama, politically, ideologically, sentimentally, uselessly, was essentially Neil Kinnock, and yes of course America's days as a super Imperial power are numbered, but that happens to all Imperial campaigns. It happened most famously to us of course.

But at least Americans can buy cookies and creme Pop Tarts locally. OK so you're having to have them for dinner as meat is too expensive, but it's still better than having to ship them in at two or three times their street value. I know which situation I'd rather be in.

Speaking of failed Empires. France via the European Union continues to try and become Germany while pretending they're an independent people. Silly submissive cowards. And it appears the only thing in greater disarray than their national identity is their top flight football.

Ligue 1 is furnishing French fans with an appalling standard of football and Marseille are some of the worst culprits. With this in mind I will take the extraordinary step this evening of backing this current Arsenal side in an away European encounter.

At 2/1 against Arsenal must surely be value no? They were unlucky not to beat Dortmund in the first game of this year's competition and Marseille are not as good as Dortmund. The atmosphere is intimidating so they say, but only if you find rude songs about Arabs offensive. If Arsenal can cope with that, I can see them winning this game quite comfortably.

Being the home side in the Champions league or the Premier League statistically is worth about 1.4 goals and playing Arsenal who are obviously incapable of keeping a clean sheet at the present time, boost this figure up to about so Arsenal will probably need to find three goals to win..but in his current form Robin van Persie ought to be able to find those goals within the first thirty minutes.

A less risky approach may just be to back both teams to score, but we here on the blog feel this is yellow bellied. I therefore hereby declare Arsenal as being worth a punt tonight. Probably along with Shahktar Donetsk at evens. Good luck with all your bets.

Update* Marseille haven't conceded a goal from an opposing player at the Velodrome in the Champions League in the last 460 minutes. Fortress. D'oh!

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