12 June 2011

Someone burst Huhne's bubble

Chris Huhne is still not in prison and now he's even talking to the papers about his job instead of hiding behind the sofa. Will someone please kick him to death before we all perish.

Huhne according to my latest figures, is a cheeky mad bastard. He has the barefaced cheek to tell us all that we shouldn't take price increases in electricity "lying down." That we should shop around, hit the power companies where it hurts if price increases are unreasonable.

What of course he ignores here is that he is responsible for electricity now becoming a luxury item and we can't shop around because give or take a few quid all the power companies will charge similar amounts - at the time of writing - an arm and almost a whole leg.

His view of the world makes Michael Jackson's seem quite down to earth. Chris Huhne lives in a bubble, a fantasy world where all our energy needs can be met by harnessing the power of love. It's why he has cheated on his wife so often.

He is leading the way, blazing a trail of love capture. He claims already that through making love to two lesbians while his wife and kids were at home waiting for him, he has been able to power his electric car that can reach speeds of over 85 mph.

It will be a long time before the entire nation is powered by our love of one another however, even Huhne concedes this. Unfortunately his plan in the meantime is to use wind power to meet our needs instead of coal or nuclear power stations.

Power companies under the renewables obligations, a document which is essentially porn to Chris Huhne, must buy 10% of their electricity from renewable sources and pay twice the market rate. This cost is then passed on to us and consequently millions of people are forced to choose each winter between food, clothing or heating.

This will have interesting evolutionary effects. How many generations before we start becoming a lot hairier from birth? With smaller appendages and slower heart rates. We'll be reptiles before the lefty green loonies see sense.

Chris Huhne is the reason why no one can afford to heat their entire homes, but is blaming the power companies as is the standard practice of misdirection employed by all politicians. And it only gets worse, 10% as we speak will be 15% next year and 50% by 2020 or some such madness.

This can of course only happen by bankrupting the entire world. It will require technology not yet in existence and we will also have to find ways of making the wind blow all the time. And none of this unfortunately, is a joke.

We're doomed. It's every man for himself. Good luck everyone.

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