28 August 2011

In safe hands

Arsenal are 13/2 with some bookies today to win at Old Trafford. Granted Arsenal's current side is not the strongest and many of them weren't alive when Zammo from Grange Hill was battling his heroine addiction, but 13/2? I cannot accept they are that bad.

We must first of course remind ourselves that Manchester United will field a younger team than Arsenal. Also their goalkeeper David De Gea is possibly the worst of a long line of catastrophic number ones Alex Ferguson has brought to United over the years. Worse I think even than Massimo "The blind venetian" Taibi - a nickname that still makes me laugh.

David De Gea relaxing at home yesterday

Arsenal on the other hand have Wojciech Szczesny who may be even crazier than Jens Lehmann, and as we all know the crazier the goalkeeper the better. His penalty save against Udinese was fantastic, but his roaring at the penalty taker in Polish to distract him was the stuff of legends. Only the true greats, the true mentalists are capable of this.

Adjusting for how under rated Arsenal's fringe players are and how over rated United are in general, coupled with my stubborn refusal to stare facts in the face mean I will have to have a bet on Arsenal today. I simply must.

May the good lord and father of the baby Jesus forgive me but I will also be backing Totterington too today and in fact Fulham. You may be confused at this point. Is my goal to lose as much money as possible before the weekend is out? Have I overdosed on codeine and Quavers? Is my oxygen flow too high and mashed up my brains?

Well, possibly.

But if none of those things have happened I will have all the monies I need at the end of the day to finally satisfy the Visa requirements and bring specialist nurses Suki and Ling Ling over from Shanghai to join my personal medical staff. And not before time.

*Update: Just seen team news, forget everything I just said, we're fooked.

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