24 August 2011

All so predictable

The sad thing about Samir Nasri leaving Arsenal is that some kid in Finchley has probably paid to have her name printed on the back of his shirt and now she's left he won't be able to wear the shirt again.

That's really the only aspect of this transfer that should cause any emotion. Samir Nasri will of course be useless at Manchester City and won't be missed by Arsenal.

She was lost to Arsenal the moment she was linked with Manchester City. It's happened before with Adebeyor. Put in about 18 months of good performances and demand £200k a week.

She is now making so much money it will be impossible for her to care about the fundamentals of a silly game like football which only people who make a sensible or reasonable wage can really become genuinely passionate about.

Passing a football around, shooting, scoring a goal, some times having to play when it's raining or when it's really cold, all of these things will now seem so irrelevant and disagreeable to her it will be impossible for her to summon up the requisite motivation to perform at the levels that have won her a £200,000 a week contract at Manchester City.

If you slept in a bed stuffed with £50 notes in pyjamas made from the finest silks spooled through the moistened labia of Chinese virgins and decorated with your initials using the mane of a unicorn, would you go to training if it was pissing down outside?

Coupled with the fact that City have no heritage now since they were reborn in the image of a lunatic Arab. There will be no possible way a team spirit could survive in the suffocating atmosphere of their dressing room which is now a vacuum with all the principles and values of previous teams sucked out into space. The walls are now reinforced with a special alloy in order to contain the ego of Mario Balotelli and the complexities of Carlos Tevez.

Although Samir was married in a civil partnership to her lesbian lover Letisha just ten months ago, only her love of money can keep her awake let alone maintain the kind of physical condition that will allow her to withstand the physical demands of a Premier League season.

I'll bet good money she plays no more than ten game for City this season and scores no more than four goals. By this time next year there will almost certainly be talk of a transfer to some obscure French team or possibly Juventus. But of course no one will be able to finance the wages and she will spend her time in the shadows of the dressing room and underground lesbian role-playing clubs never to be seen again.

Good riddance that's what I'd always say if I didn't support Napoli now and wasn't in the least bit concerned about what's happening to Arsenal.

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