Rapture

So apparently this Rapture business is nigh. May 21st in fact. I can't wait. I assume I've been chosen as I haven't really been out much and so haven't had many opportunities to sin. I hope it's all floaty and awesome like Logan's Run. I've ordered one of those ski suits just in case.

I can't wait to meet Jesus. It will of course mean I won't get to see the Champions League final, but I assume as God is all-knowing he'll already know the score and if there are bookies in heaven I'll be quids in. Eaaaaaasy money.

Now then, not that I'm a non-believer nor noffin, but just in case this is all the most absurd bullshit that ought to be barely believable even for a yokel from the early 19th century and in fact millions of people won't float off to heaven to meet the son of God and begin training to ultimatly destroy everyone else left on earth..I think I might do another jigsaw next week instead.

Reneeeeew!