Confirmed. We're fucked.

We're fucked. There's really no hope for us. We're doomed. It's every man for himself. If you were in any doubt as to how seriously our politicians are taking the plight of the nation and the crap heaps in which they've unnecessarily landed our armed forces, you just had to watch David Cameron playing table tennis with Barack Obama to have all of your worst fears and suspicions confirmed...they couldn't give a flying fuck.

While we stand inanimate like a domino waiting to be toppled over in an economic Europe-wide melt-down, and while we're fighting two wars, our Prime Ministers meets with the President of the United States not for emergency talks, but to play ping-pong.

I can only assumed they got all the serious business of our impending bankruptcy and the security of the globe squared away by email or something to be able to find the time to fuck around with some school kids and freeing up Obama's schedule affording him time to spend two days with the Queen looking at portraits of famous battles won by the British Army in the 19th century most of which involved us slaughtering Obama's ancestors and stealing their land.

I have a vivid imagination, but even I couldn't conjure up images of Winston Churchill striding out to the wicket at Lords for a photo-op with Franklin D. Roosevelt teaching him the intricacies of a good forward defensive stroke while US and British forces prepared for the D-Day invasion of Normandy.

I like Obama, even if he doesn't know what year it is. But it's clear that he is as lost for answers to his own nation's problems as Cameron is for ours, but at least I think Obama cares that he doesn't have a scoobies what to do.

I think it actually does bother him how monumentally naive he was in his estimation of what he could achieve as President. And I think he is embarrassed just how much he underestimated the task and how ridiculous all those grandiose speeches now seem. Cameron on the other hand is having the time of his life.

They all are. Clegg, the Cabinet, Miliband. They are all shooting off so many gay pheromones it's amazing they have the strength in their legs to stay upright when meeting Obama. I can just imagine Cameron pacing up and down the corridors of number 10 adjusting his tie and smelling his breath every two minutes until the $10m armored Jesus limo finally arrived. Oh my God oh my God oh my God he's here he's here, how do I look?

It's a fucking disgrace really. And it's embarrassing. We used to own Obama's country, both of them. Now our own Prime Minister can't even shake hands with the President of the US of States without climaxing.

If Cameron had any balls and cared about the future of this country he'd have pretended to forget Obama was coming, gone fishing and left him to endure a week of racist jokes from the Duke of Edinburgh. If America is to royally fuck us up again, it's only fair we return the compliment.

"How do you stop five Africans from raping a white girl?"