Ganbare Tokyo!

As we all know, without really intending to, I have accumulated lots of sports jerseys. I like to get hold of rare ones (don't we all eh eh?) and the rarest of all are of course those of fictional teams. Yes you're right, some are easy to find; the shirts worn by the allies in Escape to Victory for example can be found with little effort, the German shirts a little more difficult I'll wager, but who'd want one of those? The sweaters worn by the Charlestown Chiefs in Slap Shot are also easy to find.

But now then, though, but, see...my favourite movie ever ever in the world ever is Rollerball so I'm currently on the look out for the Tokyo team Rollerball jersey. This is proving difficult not just because the teams in the movie are obviously fictional, but the whole friggin' sport is fictional so there is no market for replicas.

I've chosen the Tokyo team's jersey despite them being the bad guys with their sneaky karate and hipkido techniques that rendered poor Moon Pie brain dead when three or four of them pounced on him and stove his head in, because I look better in yellow and the Houston team ones are probably easier to find. I want the rarest of the rarest see.

Already however I've resorted to just having one made what with them not existing and everything. This is proving more of a challenge than I'd anticipated. The problem is the damn sleeves are a different colour to the rest of the shirt, so I'm drawing a blank with all those "customise your own t shirt type websites."

I'm having someone make one for me from scratch as we speak. I gave them my small telly as payment. This is what I do with my time. And I don't care who knows it.

If you haven't seen Rollerball by the way, I suggest you jolly well do. It's very Kubrick-esq Clockwork Orange, dystopian future, sinister classical music, glass and concrete architecture type stuff about the dangers of Corporate greed and that awful 70s organ music. Very prophetic stuff. Possibly the most under-rated movie ever in my opinion. Conversely the 2002 re-make is possibly the worst ever.

Freeeakin' me out

Saw this car illusion on Richard Wiseman's blog today. All three cars are the same size. Crazyness. And they are too, I video photoshopped it to make shoowa.

Aircrew cause turbulance

Flight crew of ailing Mexicana airlines have taken it upon themselves to pose for a calendar absolutely jam packed full of sauce to help supplement their wages. And why not? Bravo chicas bravo.

While the selfish bitches from British Airways over here strike because they're only getting 50% more wages than other airlines and don't give a shit about ruining people's holidays, Mexicana air crew simply expose themselves.

We can all learn something from this excellent example of taking responsibility for ones own life. We think everyone owes us a living in this country that's our problem. Just get your tits out and stop whining BA employees, that's what I always say.

Freakin' me out

Going round in circles

Why can't we walk in straight lines?

Dog tired

Lord ha' mercy I'm tired people. These IV antibiotics really mess up my sleeping pattern, which was all over the shop anyway. Usually I have no idea what time it is, but as we speak I'm not 100% on what day it is. I think I've got two more days to go. Or sixty five sleeps in real terms.

When I'm tired like this I can't think at all. Even basic tasks have me scratching my head like an Ape who's just been rooting around in the satchel of some nosy biologist he's just viciously torn to pieces looking for sandwiches and found his iPod.

I made the mistake just now of trying to fully appreciate the genius of Patrick Hughes' reverse perspective art shown in this wee video. I just couldn't grasp it and became angry and started roaring like our Ape friend in the previous paragraph and busted up my living room.

This sort of thing makes me almost believe maybe the human race will have a chance of not de-evolving itself into extinction after all and that in a couple thousand years we won't be the ones in the forests staring bewilderingly at an iPod owned by a Chinese biologist.

While many many Totterington fans are already spawning off-spring without opposable thumbs, fortunately there are still people like Patrick Hughes on this Earth with IQ's large enough to keep our gene pool rich and diverse enough to continue the evolution of the species and compensate for the underclasses from N17 who know only what they read in the Daily Star.

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