Nam

Luckily an opportunity to d my bollocks has come along right at a time where I was wondering whether or not I should set fire to some money or throw it in the bin.

I shall only be wagering on the first four races today as they're the only ones I'll get to see as the last three clash with nap time.

So anyway, I've invested wildly in Yankees, singles, and what not in as follows:

Supreme Novices - Midnight Game

Arkle - Al Ferof

Speciality handicap chase - Hold on Julio

Champion Hurdle - Hurricane Fly

Good luck with all your bets.

Woe is us

I do not feel good today people. I feel tired and sore and my spirits are low. The continued delays in securing the release from China of nurses Suki and Ling Ling are weighing heavily on my tired mind and body.

I am hearing from China that nurse Suki is refusing food too. Ling Ling will not speak, she only stares forlornly to the west from their lonely apartment balcony and sighs. Suki is surviving by drinking her own tears. Ling Ling has only had a small bowl of soup since Thursday.

However, the beginning of the end of our sorrows is approaching. Our trinity will become one very soon. I fully expect this weekend's football wagers to reap such rewards that Suki and Ling Ling will be with me, both fully fed, and administering my convalescence by Tuesday evening.

Of course with each delay I am having to place more and more optimistic wagers as the returns also have to cover the previous loses! Soon I will have to back Arsenal to keep a clean sheet! This weekend's Yankee will require draws between Newcastle and Blackburn and West Brom and Fulham. We will also need Aston Villa and the Totteringtons to win.

If things continue to spiral out of control I will only be able to afford the services of nurse Gladys Emmanuel. I know kids, I'm scared too.

Champions League

I erm..yes...tricky fixtures in the Champions League, but I fancy Tott**ham to draw 2-2 with Werder Bremen after taking an early 2-0 lead. I also fancy Rangers to eek out a 0-0 draw with a thoroughly defensive performance with lots of strong tackles, which may cause a serious injury to one of the United players, but they will get the job done.


Meanwhile, I will also be betting on Rubin-Kazan to lose narrowly to Copenhagen probably 1-0 causing the Cheeky Girls no sadness as they have nothing to do with this fixture and finally Inter Milan will probably draw with the might of FC Twenty.

These are of course just rough guesses, but hopefully I'll be right with some of them.

There's usually a surprising result somewhere that makes Richard Keys wonder "what the odds were of that result chuckle"..and on this occasion I fancy it'll beeeee....Auxerre to beat AC Milan in the San Siro, so I might just have a few shillings at 10.0 just for shits and giggles.

Shits and giggles!? Who coined that phrase and why? Good luck with all your bets.

__