A sad day for Paulie Two Thumbs

Cheltenham yesterday

I'd just like to take this opportunity to offer my condolences to Paulie Two Thumbs who is recovering at home as we speak following an eight hour seethe after doing his conkers once again this afternoon betting on a nutter who can barely be relied upon to put his clothes on in the right order.

While it's true Ronnie O'Sullivan is quite good at Snooker, it's also true unfortunately that only 5% of his brain controls his cueing arm, while the remaining 95% controls his crazy.

Consequently while 4/1 seemed like attractive odds given how he can polish off a 147 break in 30 seconds, it remains a medical fact that at any waking moment he is only 2/1 to start masturbating and 3/1 to set himself on fire.

Paulie Two Thumbs had only just recently secured his "Cheltenham" money. I fear after today's monumental reverse he won't have any money for the Cheltenham festival in March either. Chin up fella, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.