Gorillas in the mist

It's a nasty business having to wake up to the realisation your team have to play Stoke away in the pissing rain in a few hours time.

Recent estimates put their fans at a quarter of a billions years behind the rest of north western Europe in evolutionary natural selection.  They are closer to the animal kingdom in fact than for example, people who go on Eggheads.

They are the most horrible scum.  Really the last team you want to play apart from totterington when you need three points to consolidate your position in the league.

Win today and Arsenal are there really.  I won't be wagering on the game, although if I was I'd back overs 2.5 on broken legs if Ryan Shawcross is playing.

I have backed correct score 0-0 (8-1) and 1-1 (12-1) in WBA's game against the Villa.  This is of course mug punting, and I fancy Villa have still got enough time to be relegated as they must surely be the worst team ever to play in the Premier League  - save some of the totterington sides of recent seasons managed by Spaniards no one ever heard of.

However, Alex McLeish seems to be under the protection of some sort of Jock football God who takes care of all Scotch football managers when they come south of the wall, saving them all from seemingly inevitable humiliation.  It's the only way to explain the careers of Alex Ferguson, Kenny Dalglish, George Graham and little Gordon Strachan.

So anyway, rather than getting soundly beaten, they're bound to escape with a draw.  It is written.  I've also had a small investment in QPR to beat Chelsea.  This is a wager I regret even given the 7-1 price.  There is a chance Chelsea will begin resting players now for the FA Cup and Champions League final. But there's a week until the FA Cup and the CL final is ages away, and there's only so long you can rest a player before it becomes counter productive.

You can't let John Terry have two weeks off, that's too much time for him to get arrested for slapping a teenaged black girl in McDonalds because his coffee wasn't milky enough. Terry likes his coffee like his team mates..white.  Or something like that.

So anyway, it's hard to see QPR winning this one.  I'm also going to invest in a saucy Everton, Sunderland double.  And I suggest you do the same. And why not?

Oh..Snooker.  Having watched John Higgins playing Stephen Hendry last night I have taken the prudent step of never ever betting on Snooker again. I think I would have questioned Higgins' shots last night even if wasn't a confirmed cheat already. Amazing really he's allowed to play the game still.