La conquista del Europa

So now, well now, so now...big weekend coming up for which I'm currently bulking up on flap jacks and rice pudding and burning the candle at both ends in order to draw up my final plans for the big push - Saturday's conquest of Europe....in Coventry.

I will claim the entire continent for Mexico via a game of poker and finally FINALLY, I will not have to travel to London to find a Mexican restaurant or have to tolerate gay weather men on the BBC and their inaccurate baffling effeminate forecasts..."hello darlings, as you're probably aware brrrr it's a bit chilly out."

Now that's what I'm talking about ¡hot! ¡hot! ¡hot!

Tacos will be available in every town and afternoon naps will become of Royal Decree..the newly installed Mexican Royal family that is....after King Danny Trejo's Coronation which will take place next Saturday afternoon after the slaughtering of the Queen's mangy Corgi's in the morning all of whichare being replaced with King Trejo's Chihauhaus.

King Danny Trejo with one of the Royal Chihuahua's, Tenoch, yesterday