Welcome

Well now, good afternoon. This is my new blog this is. I haven't unpacked yet, but isn't it pretty? Those of you familiar with the old blog will be aware of my longing to escape from the social nonsense so pervasive throughout our land these days and live in a cave somewhere warm and untouched by mankind.

Well as I've only just recently moved into my nice bungalow I've decided to move to a virtual cave instead - it amounts to the same thing in real terms. Why though you ask, why why? Well, you see the purpose for blogging initially was so I'd have a means of venting my spleen as it were over the many many fractures of our society's moral skeleton, but those fractures have become clean breaks now and too numerous to cope mend with simple opinion and finger wagging.

Back in the day it was the Daily Mail only filling its pages with fear mongering and stories of a decaying society where urchins routinely brought new and ever more appalling definitions to anti-social behaviour.

Not now though, it's everywhere. One can barely go shopping for a sammich without stumbling across the depressing signs of a broken society. I can barely keep up and remain motivated enough for life to get dressed in the afternoon. I'd have needed an army of bloggers and psychologists to keep track of it all and keep me on an even keel.

Well, no more I say. NO! If I have to read one more newspaper article about a teenage urchin who has poked out a pensioner's eyes and stolen her shopping or hear tell of another politician found in a seedy Kings Cross brothel with a bin-liner over his head and an apple up his arse, I swear I shall have to bally well scream like an effeminate nancy boy.

So, I shan't. I won't. I wash my hands with it all. I shall now spend my life here in my virtual cave shielded forever from the horrors of society's underclasses. Only positive happy go lucky nonsense will be discussed here.

Obviously this means I will have to make a lot of stuff up, but whatever it takes to re-create a new reality for myself. A land where urchins help old ladies across the street. A place where the police don't walk about dressed like Robocop and where Arsenal don't suffer horrendous injuries to five or six players and capitulate in April after squandering an eight point lead. And where there's never a noisy owl in a tree near ones bedroom window when it's time for a snooze.

Obviously this will not be easy. The levels of delusional optimism required for this undertaking will inevitably lead to quite profound lunacy, but that should be fun too and that's never seemed to bother the Windsors.

Now then, who'd like a scone? Tally Ho!

The Duke of Edinburgh yesterday