Oh a cloud, so fucking what?

This futuristic Airbus thing is all very impressive and I envy the air passengers of 2050 who'll enjoy the wonders of a translucent "skin" and a virtual golf course in the back of the plane, but if the checking-in process doesn't evolve also, along with the immigration processing, then all of these relaxation innovations will be completely ineffective.

If in 2050, before boarding these wondrous flying relaxation spas, passengers are still queuing up for four hours to check-in, aggressively felt up by sweaty security personnel and not allowed to carry a hip flask of medicinal whiskey with them in case it's a bomb, there won't be a flight long enough before these calming innovations take effect.

According to my research it takes eighteen hours for the body to fully recover from the checking in process of a major international airport. And given the suffocating nature of air travel itself, this 'coming down' process is extended by a further three hours per hour of flight, which means this calming process cannot even begin until you have reached your destination.

Please some one, I don't care how nice
the food is in Mauritius, shoot me now.

All of this means that it can be almost two days into a holiday before you have calmed the fuck down enough to begin to enjoy not being at home anymore. That is of course if the misses is still talking to you after all the times you've called her a useless cunt since you set off from home.

By my calculations, being able to get a virtual blow job on one of these new Airbuses while looking at a cloud will only decrease the "coming down" period by about 47 minutes.Which is of course negated by the anxiety built up prior to landing which will remain and these new planes will fly us towards at 1500 mph; will we crash, will we not? How long will it take to get out of the sodding airport? Will I be robbed as soon as I am outside? Will the taxi driver take me on a 50 mile detour? Are my suitcases on their way to Japan as we speak?

When we consider the flying experience in its entirety and how little these fancy planes address the overall ordeal of 'getting away from it all,' you start to see the irrelevance of a plane where you can breath in vitamin enriched air and get a really close look at the sky. It's like a soldier having a jacuzzi in his fox hole.

And we haven't even begun to consider what a plane crash might look like from inside a translucent shell. Fuck me! I feel queasy riding a big dipper.