Just a pretty face

Victoria Coren I thought was a good all round egg. Very nice looking, a delicious bosom, and marinated with a posh sauciness that could satisfy one's sexual appetite for some considerable time. But also intelligent too, witty and fun. In short, more than just a pretty face.

Now of course we don't discuss religion on this blog, or politics or the alternatives to sammiches for lunch - those contentious issues were for the old blog. But we must however take a moment to register our disappointment having read her column today in the Observer that Victoria Coren is just a pretty face after all.

We don't need to re-visit the whole Creationism v Evolution debate here. Apart from anything else, it's not even a legitimate debate. A Creationist of course has no claim to a place at the table when the origins of life is being debated anymore than a Witch. Creationism is not a legitimate alternative theory.

However, the guff within the wider guff of young Vicky's column can be addressed. First of all her describing of Rowan Williams as a "believer and an intellectual." This is a baffling and head scratching branding of anyone with a beard in recent memory. A believer and an intellectual is of course a contradiction in terms. One can't very well believe in fairies and be an intellectual.

Even if you could, he's not an intellectual anyway. Rowan Williams is a Theologian. He's no more an intellectual than those Professors in the US of States who teach Klingon. I could be an intellectual if the only criteria is to be an authority on stuff you've made up.

It was this line however which simultaneously had me spitting out my cola-pop and exploded my image of young Vicky with such energy that it took on an actual physical force and knocked over my little Smurf.."Atheism seems to get the cool, brainy people. We need witty thinkers to speak up for God."

It's difficult to know where to begin with such an observation. Why young Vicky, why do you think all these brainy people are atheists? Might it be because one has to be rather ignorant to still believe in God in the 21st century?

If all the brainy people have drifted towards doing one thing and all the stupid people are doing another what does it tell you about the thing the stupid people are doing? And how pray tell, would having more witty "believers"make the existence of God more likely?

What have witty people got to do with it? Unless you think witty people would be more likely to con the masses into believing in God again? Do you want people who can't think for themselves to believe in God just to make yourself feel better about the absurdity of your own faith?

Vicky wants more thinking rational believers to make themselves known. The irony of course is by highlighting her own faith she has excluded herself from the very group she wishes to lead. Rational intelligent thinkers are mutually exclusive from believers. They're completely incompatible attributes. You can't be rational and believe in God as belief in a super-natural fairy is irrational.

Still, she's pretty and has money so she doesn't need to be intelligent. She'll never have to work and lucky for her, so she can continue to say these things and not have to concern herself with how awful and embarrassing it comes across and their potentially detrimental financial consequences. It's a different matter for the less privileged morons she seeks to recruit.

If she's looking to start a movement how about the "Pretty women who have money and therefore have license to say silly things disguised as thinking" club...I should imagine Sheryl Crow would be keen to join after her comment a few years ago about us all only using one square or toilet paper after we've had a poo as this will save the planet. Sheryl would have to lead the group however as she would be the brains of the operation.